A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Decisions

Seven years ago I made a decision to change jobs. I had been working for a good company but I was supervised by a man who I didn't like. I can honestly say I don't know anyone who likes him. There must be someone who does, but I don't know any of them. Anyway, the job itself was good. I was good at it, it paid well, it was secure. There were six months of the year where this supervisor I didn't like worked from Hawaii. He had a house there and spent 6 moths working remotely and then 6 in the San Diego office. So on bad days, I could always remind myself he'd be gone again soon and that always made me feel better.

But one day I get this email telling me of a job that is open and that I should apply for it. I wasn't looking for another job, but here came this email. I didn't didn't apply. Then 2 months later I get another email from this same person asking if I had applied. The job had not been filled and they had been expecting to see my resume come thru. I explained that I didn't send it in and I just wasn't sure about all this...blah, blah, blah. The truth was, I didn't think I could do it. I read the job ad and it sounded technical and intimidating....so that's really way I didn't apply. And also, this really was out of the blue...I wasn't even looking for another job. But this time I was talked into sending in my resume....can't hurt. I went for an interview and was hired. It was all very fast....like a whirlwind had blown thru and picked me and dropped me in a new job.

I can clearly recall my first week. It was horrible. On the third day, I found out I had to pay for parking, no one told me this. Wonderful. I cried that night. What the hell had I gotten myself into?

Now, the parking thing wasn't what made me cry....tho it didn't help matters. What made me cry was someone I worked with. I felt like I wasn't wanted. By the end of my first month, I was so unhappy that all I wished for was to be back working with that old supervisor I didn't like. I had made a big mistake....huge even. I came to work everyday and knew the person I worked the closest to didn't like me....but I really didn't understand why. It took a while for me to figure out why she didn't like me. This person resented me for several reasons. I had some skills they didn't have, I was hired at a higher pay rate, and I was a woman. A young white woman. Yeah, I really think if I were a young or old black man or even a young or old black woman, I would have been treated in differently.

So here I am at my 90 day review and my new supervisor tells me I'm doing great and she's so glad to have me here....yeah, whatever. She has no idea what the last 90 days were like because she hardly ever came to check on me. And it's true, I never said anything about how miserable I was. I didn't think it would be a good idea. I was very new on the block so I didn't feel very confident about speaking up about someone who, by the way, was very well liked. Everyone loved her out spoken personality and thought she was a real kick in the pants.

Not saying anything could have been a bad decision...this one I'm not sure about. looking back, I wonder if it would have made a difference? Knowing what I know now about the people I've worked this past 7 years, I don't really think it would have made a big difference in the way things unfolded for me....but there is always the chance I'm wrong about that....we'll never know.

So I put up with a lot of crap for about 6 years. Then one day things turned around. I made another decision. This would turn out to be the only good decision I've made in this whole story. I stopped being friends with this person and now I just work with her. I no longer talk about my life with her. I don't tell her about anything that relates to me personally. And I don't ask her about her life. We hardly talk. She tries to talk to me about things, but she just doesn't get much out of me. Too bad I didn't figure all this out the 2nd week in.

Sometimes I think about that job I left. I wonder if it was a good thing that I left. I didn't like my boss, but I liked that he was gone a lot. I liked being able to ask for vacation and never having to worry about getting an attitude from people about it. I liked being able to park right outside my office....for FREE. I liked having a private office with lots of windows and a door I could close whenever I felt like it. I liked knowing every facet of my job and doing it well. I liked not having to deal with the public very much.

Right now....right at this moment, I cannot think of a reason I like my current job.