A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Is Everyone Crazy?

Over the last 3-4 days I have seen more displays of crazyness than I ususally do. I'll tell you about yesterday. I'm driving to work and I stop at a red light. Off to my right is a bus stop and there are two people there waiting. One of them was a girl who must have gotten dressed in the dark because she had on a purple sweatshirt with bright orange pants. But she wasn't the crazy one....she just makes bad wardrobe choices. The other person was a guy. I have no idea what his deal was, but he was beating the metal bench with a big tree branch....and I mean beating it. And he was mad. Very agitated. Then he stands back and pounds his chest like a gorilla and howls. The girl was sitting on the other bench mesmerized by all this. The light turned green, so I didn't see how it ended. However, I had a vision of the guy chasing the girl down the street with the tree branch...both screaming.

This is why I don't take the bus anymore.

--

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees, who may be easily offended, this type of language will nolonger be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas! and information can continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.

TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh--ing me!

TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a s--t.

TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.

TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This s--t won't work.

TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ that!

TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources