A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Just some random stuff today. I saw this joke on the Internet and just cannot resist posting it.

Saddam's doctor called a meeting of all the Saddam look-alikes and announced:

"Men, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news."

"The good news is Saddam is still alive."

"The bad news is he lost an arm..."

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Okay, now for the serious stuff. Did you know....

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.

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My Mother Taught Me...

Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

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Happy Wednesday!