A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Ode To Billy Blog

I know the title makes no sense.

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A strippers view on stripping.

Stripping is Hard.

Before I became a stripper (man, feels like looking back on the Dark Ages from a gilded turret of enlightenment), I suffered from the delusion that strippers were pampered. This misconception probably resulted from wild exaggerations in the mass media (Strippers make $3000 a night! They only work one day a week! They get paid simply for their company! They're relentlessly pelted with wadded hundred-dollar bills from the moment they emerge from their luxe dressing rooms!)

In reality, strip clubs are frenetic machines oiled with the sweat of diligent girls. Strippers often work ten-hour shifts, and all but the most experienced hustlers will spend that entire time going from table to table, attempting to make a tired sales pitch sound daisy-fresh. Wanna lap dance? Wanna lap dance? It's exhausting, and a stripper's very survival (and sometimes the survival of her children/partner/parents) depends on the strength of her hustle. There are no paychecks and no guarantees. There is no dental insurance, and there won't be a cake on your birthday.

Salespeople in other fields merely have to look presentable and muster a modicum of enthusiasm. A stripper is expected to look lean and gorgeous, smell delectable (even after hours of dancing), maintain her sparkle and confidence (despite fending off multiple attempts at sexual assault each evening) and be an Oscar-caliber actress (even when she's ready to slug you in the nuts.) Girls that neglect some or all of these skills don't make money. They rarely last.

But strippers are rich! you say. Some are, and you'd be right if you said they were grossly overcompensated. However, for every alpha-stripper that makes $1000 + a day, there are ten new girls or B-girls who work ten hours only to take home $50. Believe it. Strippers pay steep house fees for the "luxury" of working, and less-successful girls have to pay the same amount as those who can easily afford it.

At present, I'm not in a position to complain. I'll admit that I work in a very fair club and I make excellent money. However, it wasn't always so. I spent a year attempting to decode the industry, with minimal help from my ever-wary coworkers (I was, after all, competition.) Girls guard their secrets and force new girls to endure a veritable gauntlet of mindfuckery and alienation. If you're new to a club, consider yourself lucky if someone will show you where the bathroom is.

Stripping is hard work, kids. I come home tired every night.

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