A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Cursed

Before I get to today's topic, I gotta say something. The freeway was pretty backed up as me and two other cars were merging into the traffic. This guy in a trucks lets all three of us merge in...I was the last one. The guy behind him starts honking his horn, making all kinds of jesters and you just know he was yelling. Dude, it was only 3 cars! What's the big F*^%@ing deal!? He was being nice....try it sometime.

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Alright, I'm cursed.

I think it's pretty common knowledge that I despise lizards. And I don't think despise is too strong of a word to use. And now, I'll give you some of my lizard history.

When I lived with my folks, I had a room in the garage. Every now and then a lizard would get into my room. I'd have to chase them out....or have my Dad do it. So one day I start smelling a bad oder in my room. I'm thinking it is coming from outside in the shrubs. I go out there and investigate half expecting to find a dead mouse or something. Nothing. Humm. I go back in my room and locate the area that the oder is strongest.....right next to my bed. Wonderful. So now I think there is a dead mouse under my bed. I pull my bed out look under it and in all the shoe boxes under there. All I find is dust and old pictures.....no dead mouse. I move the bed back and I still smell it. I have no idea where it's coming from. A few weeks go by and the oder getting worse. It is at this point when I realize the awful truth about the order....it is coming from my bed. I tear my bed apart and I don't find anything. I wash my sheets, flip the mattress and put the bed back together. I'm standing next to my nice clean bed, perfectly made and it smells like death. The sun was coming in the window at just the right angle so it is shining right on my pure white comforter. I go to sit on my bed and I suddenly see the outline of a lizard INSIDE MY COMFORTER. Yes, that's right....inside. It had gotten in through a small hole in the seam and got stuck in all the fiber fill and expired....croaked....died. I ran screaming.

There you have it...I was sleeping with and probably sitting on daily....a dead lizard....for about a month....maybe a little longer. *SHUDDER* This ranks pretty high on the list of bad things that have happened.

So now I have this cat who is Mr. Lizard Hunter. Calvin can catch lizards that live in the planters outside the front door. I'm not kidding. And he always seems to catch them on days when I'm alone at home. You think I exaggerate, but trust me, I'm not. This one day I was sick and he got one and brought it in my bedroom while I was sleeping. I woke up because I heard something and I looked down over the side of the bed and there he is with a foot long lizard. I do not exaggerate when I say foot long, either. And, one day Greg finds a lizard tail in the house....no lizard, just the tail. So you know what that means ~ there is a lizard somewhere in the house. I suppose it's dead by now and someday I'll find it when I'm on my hands and knees looking under something.....because that's the way this kind of thing goes. Greg finds the tail and I'll find the lizard.

So what has me telling you all this? Well, I was working on a card this morning and I opened a drawer to get some paper. I suppose it's obvious what I found. Yup....dead lizard carcass. I've been telling Greg it stinks out there and he said it was the trash can. Whatever. I know dead lizard carcass when I smell it.